You’re Not Special

Years ago, toward the end of my Painfully Single era, I was in the car with my mother, complaining, as usual, about my sucky life. I was going on and on about how I’d never been proposed to, never had a serious relationship, never had a boyfriend, asked on a real date, and blah blah blah.

I said, “There is no one like me. No one has suffered like I have.”

My mother, deadpan as hell, said, “Wow.  I had no idea you were so special…”

Ouch. My mother, folks…Queen of the Verbal Bitch Slap…and man, did I need one.

“Do you think you’re the only lonely person out there? The world is full of them.”

She was right, of course. Way to rain on my pity party, Ma…but you know, in my defense, it’s easy to think you’re the only one who feels as single and horrible as you do when you’re literally the only one you know who feels as single and horrible as you.

What’s hard is to be trapped in the same mindset day after day after day. It’s harder still to talk to your friends and get the platitudes again, or the glazed-over eye look again when you try to talk about your feelings.

The truth is there are millions of singles in the same Painfully Single boat as you. I don’t know if it helps you to realize it, but I do know it helped me.

I remember that day in the car like it was yesterday, and it’s one of the reasons I wrote Painfully Single Boot Camp. I hope the Boot Camp has helped you, and I would love to hear your story. What’s the hardest part of being single for you? What’s going on in your life?

All the best,

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